


Story Time With Uncle Varric

by thejeeperswife



Series: Cullen Rutherford Appreciation Week 2019 [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age - Various Authors, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/M, Happily Ever After, Kirkwall, Love Story, Mages, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Templars, Viscount, fairy tale, story time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejeeperswife/pseuds/thejeeperswife
Summary: Viscount Varric entertains a very special lady with a fairy tale love story.Entry for Cullen Appreciation Week 2019





	Story Time With Uncle Varric

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended Theme Song: "Losing It All" by Anberlin

“Uncle Varric, tell me a story!” A small wavy blonde girl crawls into Varric’s lap. 

The dwarf typically does not let anyone sit on his dwarf-size lap or on his Viscount throne, but this little apple in his eye throws all his rules out the window. Her sparkling bright green eyes shine up at him in awe and hope. Her little fists grip her linen summer dress with glee. The dwarf notices bits of dust, debris, and other Kirkwall junk around the helm and knee areas. She is a very active, unladylike young child. He imagines this is what her parents probably looked like back when they were such an age.

The girl’s clawing hands pull at the dwarf strawberry chest hair, impatient he has not started the story yet. Oh, this child is her mother’s daughter, while her growing grimace resembles her father’s sullen expression. “All right! All right!” Varric concedes. “How about the fairy tale of the templar and the mage? Two people I _personally_ brought together.”

“If you knew them, then it can’t be a fairy tale!” The little girl huffs, crossing her arms over her dress chest. Oh, another one of her mother’s traits: calling Varric out on his bullshit.

“Well, it is like a fairy tale. Many people don’t believe this story until one of your other aunts and uncles back me up. Even your Aunt Cassandra supports me, and that is like the end of the world!”

“Is it about Auntie Cass and Uncle Rylen!?”

“No, it is about a templar and a mage.”

The little girl settles in on his lap, biting her lower lip and waits for Varric to begin. “Once upon a time, a great green hole appeared in the sky. Demons appeared all throughout the land causing destruction and mayhem. Many people died when it materialized, including the Divine.”

“Oh now! Not Auntie Leliana!?”

“No, not her. Her friend before her, and don’t interrupt, okay?” The little girl grimaces, but agrees.

“A lone dwarf, a prisoner held captive by a wicked seeker, fought the demons alone with his trusty crossbow, Bianca.” The girl critically eyes Varric, while laying her head on his chest. His coarse chest hair barely deters her from getting comfortable. “An all too serious, brooding templar named Curly also fought against the demons. The dwarf knew this man for many years and could never make him smile. He constantly scowled like someone pooped in his ale every evening.”

The little girl in his arms giggles at that. “Suddenly, out of nowhere…” Varric pauses for dramatic effect. The girl’s bright green eyes widen and mouth gaps. “A single woman, an inferno mage, that dwarf nicknamed Monkey, popped right out one the rifts and scared the templar!” The dwarf makes a popping sound with his index finger against the inside of his cheek. The little child laughs happily, trying to mimic the gesture. She just spits all over her dress. “She saved everyone from the big nasty whole in the Veil, but it isn’t gone. The templar asked the mage to stay and help close the sky hole. The mage, who distrusted the templar greatly, agreed anyway. She thought him handsome, while he found her the most beautiful maiden ever born on Thedas!”

Varric sighed and continued his little tale. “Well, the dwarf watched the cautious mage and the sullen templar the next few weeks. Some days, they laughed and joked with other. Other days, they look like they will pull each other’s hair out and fight like cats and dogs! They disagreed about everything, but the dwarf knew that opposites attract. Everyone in their company knew there was something developing between them. Their perfect, charming, and funny dwarf friend even had a betting poll going around about when they will confess their growing feelings.”

“Well, the day came when the mage closed the big hole in sky. However, a big ugly monster—worse looking than Knight-Commander Meredith on red lyrium which the dwarf killed with a single shot in her head—showed up with a huge destructive army of other templars that weren’t even human anymore. The brave dwarf fought with the inferno mage, standing by his friend and killing all the enemies!” Varric puffs out his chest proudly. The little girl rolls her eyes. “But, the monster threatened the group with his powerful archdemon and nearly killed everyone living in the village. The mage volunteered to distract the monster so the templar can lead the people to safety. The dwarf and his Tevinter friend believed the templar would kiss the mage who willingly was sacrificing herself to save everyone. Of course, like an idiot, the templar didn’t take the chance and only watched as the mage was overwhelmed by an avalanche!” 

The little girl gasps, covering her mouth. “No!”

“Oh yes!” Varric nods. “The templar refused to believe her dead though. With the help of the trusty dwarf, they searched long and hard for the mage. The dwarf discovered her face down in the snow nearly dead. The templar carried her miles in the deep snow and blizzard, unsure she still lived. He could not lose hope. He regretted not scooping up and kissing her breathless! Or even should have been the bait and she escape with the people!”

“Is she alive!?”

“While she laid there nearly dead, the templar kissed her, prayers on his scarred lip that the Maker save her life. Suddenly, Andraste herself appeared and healed the unconscious mage.” Varric reveals with a small smirk. “The dwarf even witnessed the miracle and told everyone that the Maker’s Bride saved the mage via the man’s kiss! The mage woke up and discovered her broody knight saved her life. She hugged and kissed him, confessing her love and appreciation. They become the leaders of their people and killed that disgusting looking monster together!”

“Did they live happily ever after?!” The little girl hops in Varric’s lap hopeful.

“Hey, Kid, that’s my line!” The dwarf laughs, booping her nose with his index finger.

The girl’s bright green eyes shimmer with glee. Her hopping now hurts Varric’s thighs and knees. “I can’t wait to tell Mama and Papa the story!”

“Tell us what, Pup?” A strong baritone voice calls from across the throne room.

Instantly, the tiny little girl jumps off Varric’s lap, accidentally kicking her little feet into his groin. Varric falls out of his throne, wincing in pain. Free Marcher giggles ring through the air at the struggling Viscount. 

The little girl jumps into her Father’s arms. “Papa! Uncle Varric told me a story about a templar a-a-a-a-and a mage a-a-a-a-and how they fell in love a-a-a-a-a-a-and killed a monster a-a-a-a-a-a-and it was their dwarf friend who brought them together a-a-a-a-and-“

“Diana, breathe.” The father chuckles, seeing his little girl growing pale from lack of air.

Her mother approaches the dwarf, slowly recovering from his groin kick. “I don’t remember Varric being involved in our relationship.” She states with a skeptical eye. “All you did was have a running betting poll on when we would—ahem—_woohoo_.”

“Of all people to win was that damn Scout Jim.” The father growls, reflecting on that nitwit who always interrupted their private moments.

“Who said it was about your guys?!” Varric whimpers slowly crawling to his feet. “I have thousands of stories that don’t involve you two.”

“Uncle Varric said the templar was serious all the time and mage was very mistrusting.” The little girl, Diana, comments to illustrate it was not about her parents.

Varric squeezes his eyes shut. “Kid, we got to work on you keeping secrets.”

The one armed mother helps her dwarf friend to his feet. “In any case, thanks for watching her while we discussed Fenris’ revolution to free the slaves with Hawke. Diana can be a handful during such serious meetings. She hates seeing anyone sad.”

“And I’m no longer broody, _Dwarf_.” The father huffs before kissing his daughter’s forehead. She has settle on his shoulder, her eyelids growing heavy. “How can I be when I have the best wife in the world, the most perfect daughter, and forever free of lyrium?” He smiles at his wife by the throne. She too gently smiles, the one reserved specifically for him.

Varric grins, happy to see these two people finally having the future they always wanted. During the Inquisition’s war against Corypheus, he wondered if things would have a happy ever after for them. While there was an ancient elven god still running around threatening the end of the world, at least Cullen and Evie could have a moment’s rest to love and be happy without rushing into another battle.

As Inquisitor and Commander, both people struggled under the pressure. Evie’s past haunted her constantly, while Cullen struggled with lyrium withdrawal. There was a time Varric thought Evie will succumb to her depression and Cullen would start taking lyrium again to push his traumas away. Yet, they were what the other needed. It took a long time for the two to get over the insecurities and shyness, but finally, they shared their first kiss—damn Scout Jim—and fell in love like the majestic templar and beautiful mage in his fairy tale. 

Varric got a great deal of rage from both people when he published their love affair in his newest love serial called “Opposites Attract”. It sold like hot cakes with Cassandra Pentaghast his top customer. Both the commander and ex-inquisitor threatened his life and demanded he recall the books. Instead, he offered to babysit their baby daughter every time they were in town. 

Varric loves the little girl, nicknaming her ‘Firefly’. The little girl is a mage too like her mother, but never saw inside a Circle. Her magic looked like the sun or a firefly’s blinking every time she casts. Her father assists her every time she practices, utilizing the remaining lyrium in his system to smite her spells if they go haywire. 

The parents became the best teachers for many mage children who live on their templar sanctuary estate in Ferelden. While little Diana was their only biological child, nearly killing her mother during childbirth, the husband and wife adopted many orphaned mage children and assisted in their magical development. Their mission linked with the recovering templar freeing themselves from lyrium. The former knights wished to atone for their past cruelty. Watching over the magical children gave them that chance. There was no shortage of love and happiness on that estate.

Evie Trevelyan—err Rutherford—walks over to her husband, kissing his scarred lip and her daughter’s head. Cullen whispers into her ear, whispering love and appreciation that she gave him the life he only thought make believe. Varric always refers to their love and marriage as a fairy tale because if it was not for them changing the world, they would have never been allowed to love together, marry, and have that blessed child. Seven years ago, they both thought their lives revolved around the Circles and a chaotic world. Now, Varric watches the happy and calm family, proud to witness their meeting and love bloom. The Viscount finds himself lucky to feel this bliss because their happiness flows from this small family to everyone around them. 

He guesses happy ever after’s really do exist.


End file.
